T’Was just days before Christmas
By Michael O’Neill (with apologies to Clement C. Moore)
T’was just days before Christmas and traders galore,
Were closing positions and heading out the door.
The year was reviewed by all traders with care,
In hopes of finding answers to the questions out there.
The questions were known, the answers they dread
While visions of ECB easing danced in their head.
And Ms. Yellen in her kerchief, may have got a bum rap
For that dove may have warned a rate hike is on tap
She said “Considerable time” is now, “patience”, and oh what a clatter,
When the big dollar went bid and the Euro did shatter.
Euro bulls were in trouble, they knew in a flash,
Losses were mounting in both futures and cash.
Traders were sobbing, burying their heads in the snow
Wanting a savior to come and put on a show
When what to their wondering eyes should appear
But a merry central banker with eyes filled with cheer
His glasses on his nose and his Armani suit rather baggy,
I knew in a moment it was Mario Draghi.
More rapid than eagles, EU members they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name!
Now Hollande, now Renzi, now Merkel, you vixen
I will stifle deflation with a new QE blitzen
We will print trillions of Euros and buy everyone’s bonds
And to hell with what they’re doing, across the great pond.
More jobs, more growth, prosperity for all.
I’ll tell you how on my next conference call.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
And disappeared in the night with the speed of a missile.
But I heard him exclaim ’ere he drove out of sight.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.