T’was just days before Christmas
By Michael O’Neill (with apologies to Clement C. Moore)
T’was just days before Christmas, when all around the world
Not a trader was stirring, beneath desks they lay curled.
Their P&L sheets were hung on their monitors with care
In hopes that Saint Nicholas would put some winners up there.
The traders were restless, wished they were snug in their beds,
While visions of profitable trades danced in their heads.
Yellen in her kerchief and Draghi in his cap
Had both closed their books and settled in for a nap.
Central bankers don’t get much sun
The year had been crazy, January flowed with red ink.
Central Banks in Canada and Switzerland, raised quite a stink.
Canadian interest rates jumped, the EuroSwiss peg was abandoned.
And long positions in CADDollar and EuroSwiss became stranded.
The rest of the year was filled with the same sort of clatter
Draghi promised lower rates, below zero didn’t matter.
The Fed said that they would hike when the data was right
And repeated those words night after night.
The US dollar was bought by every Tom, Dick and Joe
But the market was choppy, profits would come and then go
And now December was here, the deeds promised were done
However the many mixed messages left profits un-won.
When out on the street there arose such a clatter
Traders sprang from their hidey-holes to see what was the matter.
Away to the windows they flew in a dash
Then Reuters and Bloomberg screens started to flash.
They turned their heads in an instant and then turned around
On their screens appeared St. Nick, Ms. Yellen as background.
Oh, their eye’s how they twinkled, their dimples how merry
Their cheeks were like roses and their noses like a cherry.
Their droll little mouths were drawn up like a bow
And the hair on their heads was as white as the snow.
They may have snow on the roof but there is fire in the furnace
St. Nick went to work while Yellen spoke from the screen
“Dollar bulls should beware of reversions back to the mean”
2016 is coming fast, the economy is on fire
And interest rates will keep moving higher and higher,"
" Iran will become friends, its Russia we’ll hate
Unless Mr. Putin will abdicate
Americans will choose between a frump and a chump
The White House will be occupied by Hillary or Trump"
The EU may be shaken right down to its core
If Greece or some other country heads out the door
There’s lots to worry about and plenty to trade
So put your money on the table, there’s cash to be made"
Then the screens faded to black but the sound was all right.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.